what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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