Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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