Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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