I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
im six kinds of drunk right now
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize