never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
a search helicopter?!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
