I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
