What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
