there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
