high people should be assigned attendants
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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