Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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