guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think i got beer on your cat.
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