Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
