i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
two words...techno handjob
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
