Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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