No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
