Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
