I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
