You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
3 2 1 whiskey
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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