My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
