im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
