Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She's the barista slut.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
