I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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