i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dignity is for republicans.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
