Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
