im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize
