im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
