She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
