Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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