i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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