His pubic hair was longer than his dick
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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