he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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