this beer tastes like vomit already
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize