please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
