he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
