my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I have feelings that need drinking.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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