She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
