toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
