Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
