Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
