i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
