we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
