I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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