Nicole vs. Life
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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