It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
