Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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