I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
