I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
is it fun? or sober?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
