My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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