I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
