hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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