so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize