I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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