ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
