Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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