no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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