Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
