i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
not ubering you a puppy
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
