I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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