In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
