why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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