I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
