Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
