Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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