youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
